Say That You Love Me
by The Reader is Now Blind
Summary: A songfic about Ashitaka's and San's feelings for each other. Please R/R!!


Hello, hello! I'm new here in the Princess Mononoke section, probably 'cause I just saw it recently. ^^;; I was automatically hooked, and was inspired to write this fanfic. PM doesn't belong to me, but I wrote the song, "Say That You Love Me"  
  


**Say That You Love Me**  
  
_You recite different reasons,   
Why we can't be together.   
Why we travel opposite paths,   
But you'll remember me forever._

  
  
San paced in the front of the cave she shared with her two wolf brothers, darting her eyes to the hills below her every couple of seconds. The sudden touch of her older brother's cold nose on the back of her bare arm made her shiver. "Onisama, you know I hate when you do that."   
  
He ignored her irritation as he lied down and cocked his head towards the direction of her gaze. "You're waiting for that human, aren't you?"   
  
Whirling away to hide her flushed face, San stammered, "I don't know what you are talking about."   
  
"Ha!" the giant wolf snapped, shaking his head. "Be the wolf that Mother taught you to be, or have you succumbed to your human looks?! The scent of him and that beast of his have been lingering in the wind for awhile now."   
  
"Its no surprise that humans stink," San responded defiantly, still stung from her brother's comment. She plopped down on the hard ground, drawing her knees to her chin. She corrected her statement in her mind; not all humans stunk, she thought as a flash of brown hair and a kind face raced in front of her eyes. No, Ashitaka didn't stink, despite the fact he resided in that large village controlled by that woman, Eboshi. Ashitaka's scent reminded San of...well, what exactly she couldn't be sure. He reeked of the iron works whose stench had repelled her during her past raids against the settlement. But he also had the perfume of the woods from his numerous visits to her cave. Yet, Ashitaka also wore the odor of open fields and sheltering trees and singing birds and happiness like no other. The north eastern breezes had often brought snatches of it to San's nose before, making her wonder what wondrous land it had traveled from. All these smells mingled and complemented each other in the aroma that was Ashitaka.   
  


_My tears fall, but you  
Can have your way.   
Before we leave, though, boy,   
You have to say..._

  
  
The sounds of galloping hooves aroused San from her musings, and she stared at a small figure nearing her position.   
  
Her brother licked his lips, and growled, "Good, he shows himself. I was starting to get hungry."   
  
San glared at her brother, her eyes matching his. "Do not think of such things. Let Ashitaka and Yakkul pass unharmed, understand?"   
  
"Remember your place in the tribe of Moro!" her brother ordered. "I will make no promises to protect a human enemy and a potential meal."   
  
Her face softening, San scratched the sensitive spot behind his ears. "Thank you for at least the effort."   
  


_Say that you love me,  
Say that you need me,   
Say that you'll hold me  
Tight and never let go._

  
  
"San?" Ashitaka asked, dismounting from Yakkul, and bowing down to the wolf beside San. "O protector wolf of the forest, I wish you health on this beautiful evening."   
  
"Don't bother with the pleasantries, human," the wolf snarled, rising to retire for the night. "No amount of good tidings would prevent me from biting you."   
  
Still Ashitaka showed his respect; his fear, if any, from the wolf's threat not visible. The wolf snorted at him, and lumbered into the cave. San studied her brother's retreating form before returning to look at Ashitaka, who was reclining on the ground, his hands folded behind his head. Yakkul was munching on a bunch of grass he was lucky enough to find in the stone crevices. No one dared to act so leisurely on the foot ledge belonging to the den of Moro. San shuddered at the thought if her brothers found them like this without her being near.   
  


_Say that you can't   
Live without me, baby.   
And maybe those words  
Will come true._

  
  
"If you're cold, you should be bundled up."   
  
San let out a silent gasp; she had thought Ashitaka had fallen asleep underneath the stars. She gained her composure and reported, "Only a human could be cold on warm night like this."   
  
Pushing up off the ground, Ashitaka twisted his body to pierce her with his innocent eyes. "You can share my wrap with me if you like."   
  
Omitting the fact that her body was heated, San settled down next to Ashitaka and let his arm drape over her shoulders. "Wouldn't humans usually burn wood selfishly when they needed warmth?"   
  
Ashitaka winced at the accusation, and sighed nonchalantly. "Yes, but it blocks out the night's beauty. Listen, the kodamas are making their noises; the Deer God must be taking his Nightwalker form."   
  
Huddling together, they watched a majestic being forming over the treetops. San gave a sideways glance to Ashitaka; he was just as memorized in the sight as she was. She couldn't help but retorting, "Humph. Humans generally fear the Deer God."   
  
If she had hurt him with her statement, Ashitaka didn't show it. Instead, he quietly asked, "Do you hate humans so much because of what Moro taught you?"   
  
Shocked by his abrupt question, San appeared flustered. "That's not just it! There are other reasons!"   
  
"Really? Will you tell me?"   
  
"I-I-" San began, but couldn't get the words out. Her eyes hurt, though she didn't know why. Ashitaka became concerned and reassured, "You don't have to, San. I'm sorry I asked."   
  
"No, I want to tell you," San breathed. "Moro told me that she found me on the path, abandoned, alone, left to die in the forest."   
  
"Oh. I remember Moro telling me that one night," Ashitaka shrugged. San backed away from him, clearly disgusted. "You knew, and you still made me tell you?!"   
  
"I didn't realize that was the reason," Ashitaka replied calmly.   
  
"How idiotic can a human be?!" San spat. "Why wouldn't I hate humans after all they've done to me and my family?"   
  
Ashitaka didn't answer her, but instead pulled up his sleeve. The scar from the demon's curse was almost completely faded, but evidence of its existence remained. "San, you know that I received this scar when defending my village from the demon that infested the boar Nago, forcing me travel to find Eboshi, who had shot the bullet. But I have never told anyone that I was dead to my village as soon as the demon touched me. I was a young prince, who protected the lives of his people, but in turn lost his own. Yet I do not feel hatred towards the Eimishi people for their decision. I guess I am dead in sort of a way, for I feel that I'm not the same Ashitaka. The old Ashitaka had an easy, carefree life of guarding his secluded village, spending his free time with Kaya and her friends."   
  


_The same ones  
That I utter to you.   
Say that you love me._

  
  
A twinge of jealousy passed through San as she tried to keep a straight face. "Who is 'Kaya and her friends'?"   
  
Grinning in embarrassment, Ashitaka laughed gently. "Kaya was a young village girl who called me her older brother. I think she had a fascination with me, but I didn't want to be cruel and expel her hopes. On that fateful night, when I left with Yakkul, she met me against the rules of the village. Because she never would see me again, she gave me the same jeweled dagger that you're wearing now."   
  
San placed a hand to her throat, the cool stone of his gift in her hands. "If it means so much to you, why did you give it to me?"   
  
"Because I wasn't sure I was going to see you again," Ashitaka murmured, unexpectedly growing serious. "I was still suffering from the demon curse, the war was going on between the humans and the forest, and Moro and your brothers were opposed to me."   
  


_Please look deep in your heart.   
Should we embrace or pull apart?   
I don't know what to do.   
I just know that I love you._

  
  
Her fingers faltered at first, but San untied the knot of rope and handed the necklace back to Ashitaka. "You can now have it back then, right?"   
  
Ashitaka expressed disagreement, and delicately closed her fingers around the dagger. "Keep it please. I do not know if I will see you again after this meeting. That is for fate to decide, not I. Also, I want you to have it because I...I love you."   
  
The only sounds heard were the night winds howling, the kodamas bobbing their heads, and the wolves shifting in their slumber. San was speechless as she stared at a forlorn Ashitaka. His hands were still holding onto hers, though they were shaking wildly.   
  


_Say that you love me,  
Say that you need me,   
Say that you'll hold me  
Tight and never let go._

  
  
"What?" San finally managed to squeak. Ashitaka drew her closer to him, and whispered in her ear, "I love you, San, daughter of Moro. I have always loved you, ever since I saw at the river. No matter how many times you attacked me or insulted me, I still loved you as much as I do now."  
  
Moisture formed in San's eyes, and she blinked to clear her vision. She couldn't be crying; she never cried in her life. Damn him! Damn Ashitaka for arousing all this human feelings she had thrown away long ago. However, gazing into his moonlit eyes and the warmth of his arms around her made her wish she could stay this way forever.  
  


_Say that you can't   
Live without me, baby.   
And maybe those words  
Will come true.   
The same ones  
That I utter to you... _

  
"Oh Ashitaka!" San sobbed, burrowing her face into his chest. He held her that way, soothing her hiccups. She wiped her face on his shirt, staining it, but neither one of them cared.   
  
San abruptly stopped and backed away, but still in Ashitaka's embrace. What was the feeling spreading throughout her body? She felt ashamed, confident, alone, loved, sad, happy, mad, content, hurt, and safe, all at the same time. Ashitaka, tilted her face towards his, and softly exclaimed, "You're beautiful even when you're crying, my San."  
  


_Say that you love me,  
Say that you need me,   
Say that you'll hold me  
Tight and never let go._

  
  
Seeing him lean down, San involuntary rose up to meet him. Sparks flew as their lips joined in a gentle but passionate kiss. San wasn't sure what they were exactly doing, but whatever it was, it felt good.   
  
An unexplained moan escaped from San's mouth, causing Ashitaka to jump back in his disbelief. "San? Did I hurt you?"  
  
Fresh tears began drip down her cheeks as she shook her head furiously. "Of course not Ashitaka! I love you, too."  
  
A look of relief flashed on Ashitaka's face as squeezed her tighter. "I'm glad."  
  


_Say that you can't   
Live without me, baby.   
And maybe those words  
Will come true.   
The same ones  
That I utter to you. _

  
Ashitaka let her go and questioned, "I have to go back to the Ironworks, but can I see you tomorrow?"  
  
San nodded, and watched him leave with Yakkul. After they were out of sight, she collapsed to the ground in exhaustion. She put two fingers to her lips, and smiled.  
  


_Say that you love me,  
Say that you love me,  
Say...that...you...love...me..._

  
  


* * *

  
AN: YAY! They kissed! Finally! ^^;; Tell me what you think please! 


End file.
